I mean really it must be because when I go to bed it's not there. I've been back and forth on some different social/blog readings and I realize one thing. Nothing has been done in an order. I had a very good past blog and was completely busted for a few things I wrote about particular situations. I see now better ways of conducting my thought process. Through my stints through college and my past and present careers life has truly been and interesting ride. Usually I don't see it at the time but I realize now it's been emotional and heartfelt.
My biggest down fall is my honesty. One could say I'm too honest, however with that being said if I am your friend why would I lie to you? What would either of us gain? Don't lie to me is all I ask. I'd rather you not say anything at all. Which brings me to this: I've been trying to better myself by being more self aware of my surroundings, listening more, being enlightened and more tolerant of others.
Enlightened yes... tolerant still working on that. I don't go off the deep in with anger very often, however I lost my ever loving mind not to long ago, and felt like a complete jack***, and spouted off some very vile and down right hateful things. The person who heard me lose it was in shock, but understood I had, had enough. It's OK for this to happen. Is it right? One has to be at peace with any decision they make so I can't tell you yes or no. Did I feel better, at the time, yes I did. Shortly after, no. Now I feel nothing, I have let it go and learned that I will never let a situation get the best of me. Or people for that matter. In a few weeks I'm going to be going through some major life changes events. I hope for the better. I hope I still accept who I am trying to become, while holding on to who I am.
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